Chemofobia

January 4, 2016

 

 

Watching “Truth about Cancer”  wasn’t the best idea the night before your chemo I guess! First episode was all about chemotherapy, how toxic it is, how it causes recurrence of cancer!! And we were like - what the heck? Are we doing the right thing?

 

And who actually knows what’s right or wrong?

 

I made my research for the last month, get opinions from 6 different oncologists and made my decision. I am not going to watch this and I’ll move forward with my decision.

 

TH its is. Not TCHP not TCH… I’m doing TH! Ready for you chemo, bring it on!

 

I woke up in the morning a bit nervous… kids are off to school and it’s almost 9am. I have time to take a shower, check my bag- yes I have a chemo bag- filled with things people suggested;

 

Beautiful cashmere blanket (gift from my best friend Katya), lip balm, books, water bottle, headphones, my crystals, snack (Newman's Own Pretzels, High Protein), my protein shake…

 

Checking in 10am

Meet your nurse- “Hi Claire”- She seems really nice.

 

She opened the bandages on my port side. I didn’t touch them since they put it in last Wednesday. Cleaned the area. Auch that burned! Bandages caused a bit of a rash around the port area.

 

First she needs to draw some blood. Routine before each chemo session.

 

Omg this port is amazing! No more painful blood drawings, one of my biggest nightmares since it is really hard to draw blood on my rotating, small veins.

 

Blood work done- now time to see the doctor.

 

“Do you have any last minute questions?”

 

Yes, so many, but I don’t think anybody has the answers for them so let’s get going.

 

Back to the infusion room. My nurse, Claire, came and start putting the IV bags. First Benadryl, then Tylanol. Then 90 min Herceptin, then nausea medicine with dexamethasone and then comes the scary Taxol!

 

“If you feel rash, difficulty breathing, you can push this button to stop the IV in case I am not around”

 

OK!!! I sure will!

 

It’s not crowded in the infusion room.It’s actually quite peaceful. I’m ready…

 

Let it drip…

 

3 hours later, “You are done for today”

“Really?”

It wasn’t that bad. I survived the first chemo.

Let’s see what the next one will bring? This not knowing, uncertainty on everything is the worst.

 

We are back home. Kids are back from school. Life goes on no matter what… Matt comes into my room.

“So how was it?”

“I am good, I feel ok, It wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be.”

 

We ate dinner together. We played a bit with the kids in our room. At one point I was doing a silly dance with Chloe and we were all laughing so hard, Matt said to my husband, “She is strange. Is this how chemo effected her? Dancing and laughing like crazy!”

 

I hope so.

 

One is done, 11 more to go!

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