The most expected

When I learned that I have to do chemo a few months ago, every oncologist, every person I talked to told me "You'll loose your hair, you know that right?"

I had long hair as long as I can remember. Beautiful hair, always got compliments on my hair kind of hair... So starting from the first session of chemo, I waited, I worried. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I touched my hair, pulled a bit to see if it started to fall out...

4 weeks passed. Nothing... I guess my hair loved me as much as I loved it:)

Now the comments I started to get "wow you still have your hair?!!".

Why everybody is so obsessed with hair??? I have cancer, I don't have my breasts any more. Hellooo!!!

Week 4 finally brought the most expected.

My sister is visiting me this week and we were in the car our way back home from the farmers' market... My sister, my mom and me. Just to check I called Piny, the place I ordered my wig and where they'll do a halo from my own hair.

"How much hair is coming out every time you ran your hand thru?" Shiry asked.

"I don't know, like 20-25 pieces of hair."

"It's better if you can come today!"

Today? Now? Really! But it just started falling out!

"Better if you want to use your own hair for the halo."

"Ok I'm on my way!"

I planned this since the beginning, but I wasn't expecting her to say "come today".

Maybe it's better this way, my sister is with me:)) I called my husband on the way. I texted Katya and Betsy, my 2 best friends in LA. We were talking about doing this together but since it happened so unplanned at least I wanted to let them know. Betsy said" I'll be there in 15 min".

In 30 minutes, we were at Piny. Nicest people ever. I fell in love with Shiry, the daughter, the day I met her. I didn't even think about going somewhere else to get another quote for my wig. I knew if I'll do something this big and life changing I have to do it with them.

Ok time to let go! OMG one side is already gone and I'm not even crying. I'm not nerveous at all. Actually it feels more of a relief.

And there it's all gone. Hold on... it doesn't look that bad. All I need is leather pants, ear cuffs, some cool make up and here comes the new me! Kind of love it!

And now time to put the wig, cut it, style it and yes that looks great too. Thanks Piny for an amazing job! I kind of like the bald look better though. haha :)

Yesterday I was reading Osho's Fear and it said, "Fear is always of the unkown. Fear is always about something in the future. Fear never exists in the present moment."

"And when there is no fear, much of the energy that gets involved and caught up, locked up in fear, is available-and that energy can become your creativity. It can become a dance, a celebration."

So let's dance!

#breastcancerawareness #breast #breastcancersurvivor #cancer #healing #chemotherapy #hairlosswithchemo #chemosideeffects #myjourneytohealcancer

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